PG Tip: Avoiding disappointment.

Have you ever had that sinking feeling when you had great expectations, but the reality turned out to be far from the dream? And then worse, you're in an awkward position, stuck on a boat and it's too late to escape?

You need never experience that murky feeling again.

By knowing a few simple, but strategic, questions, you will be guaranteed a grande festa on the azure sea, sempre.

Read on to learn how to use the first essential question.


You're on a terrazzo during the magic hour.

A common conversation might start like this:
Lothario: Ciao bella! Come stai?
Our lady in training: Ciao. Bene, grazie.
Lothario: il nome Guido, e il vostro??
(The luna luce is making you feel giddy...)
OLIT: il nome...


STOP RIGHT THERE!!!


Before you give away too much personal information, such as your name, be sure to ask this important question:


Quanto è grande il vostro yacht?


Ask gently, but without hesitation. Remember you require a truthful answer to this question, before continuing the festa. So, despite the effects of the magic hour, pay careful attention to how he responds. Read the signs.
Listen for nervous laughter, mumblings in foreign languages. Make sure he maintains eye contact.
Check for tell-tale (often matching) accessories.
You will need a keen radar at this moment, as any photographic reference (and accessories for that matter) presented may be a forgery. 
Trust your instincts not the soft lighting of the sunset.
It's worth the effort ladies, with a little bit of diligence your night's festa will carry on here:

Or here:

Rather than here:

It really is that simple. Learn this simple phrase, and you never need to feel the wind leave your sails again.

Be prepared and learn this phrase in some other useful languages. Here's a few to make sure you are always well equipped.

Francais: Quelle est la taille de votre yacht?

Espanol: ¿Qué tan grande es su yate?

Norges: Hvor stort er ditt yacht? (believe me, they have good boats)

Russki: Как велика ваша яхта? (good luck with that)

Arab: كيف كبير هو اليخت الخاص بك؟ (and that)

Nippon: どのように大きなあなたのヨットですか？ (well it's polite to ask)

Importante: for this tip to work, you will need a fairly clear head, and a sharp mind. If you are a newcomer, try this approach prior to your second spritz. But don't despair, with a bit of practice you'll be mastering it after 3 or more. In no time, you won't even realise you're asking Quanto è grande il vostro yacht? somewhere between My name is..., and where are you moored? 


Climb aboard ladies and enjoy your grande festa.


Ciao! Baci xx